Thank You Jessica

It is good to continue learning as you get older. That way you keep everything sharper.

My daughter showed me that it was not that I hated cottage cheese but that I hate the way it had been prepared for me in the past. I quite enjoy using it in cooked items. Today I made Chili Potatoes; 1/2 of a good baker covered with FFCC and Vegetarian Chili, topped off with some low fat mexican cheese and diced tomatoes!! Yum!

The real star today was the Spinach Lasagna: I got some fresh pasta from TJ and used a can of fire roasted tomatoes with about a 1/2 jar of their vodka tomato sauce thinned out with some No-Chicken Broth. I used the food processor to chop a 1/2 bag of baby spinach and about 8 good sized basil leaves. Then I added 8oz FFCC and 6oz low fat ricotta, 1/4c egg product some grated romano cheese and some pepper. This got blended into this beautiful green tinge mixture. Layer your pan with the sauce, pasta, spinach mixture and a sprinkle of mozz or mixed italian cheeses, not much just a sprinkle. Repeat for another layer and top it off with the last of the pasta and sauce. Bake at 375-400 for about 40 minutes and then top with cheese and let it brown.

If Jessica had not cooked some foods for me with CC in it, I would never had known that it would be this good in something. Traders FFCC is awesome! Mom likes the 4% fat one from Vons, she eats hers cold...I still don't like it cold.

So thank you mia bella figlia. Vorrei baciare la tua guancia!

Mare

The sea, it is a giver of life and a taker of life. I like what the sea gives me. This weekend I will try out a new Halibut recipe. I have promoted my Tilapia recipe to all my friends but here it comes.

Tilapia, The best way!
Amounts are by personal preference, play with it.
Olive or Almond Oil for pan searing.
Tilapia with S/P
Limes, cut and ready to squeeze
Cilantro rough chopped, enough to lightly cover the fish
Red Pepper flakes
Butter about 1-2 Tblsp depending on amount of fish
I use a little bit of rum but you can do with out it.
Get the pan nice and hot, toss in the fish. After about one-1 1/2 minute turn the fish over and turn the heat down to medium. Squeeze on the lime juice, RP flakes and dot with the butter. If you want the booze just splash 1-2 Tbsp over thefish then toss the cilantro on top. It is ready to serve.

That's not Catfish!
Catfish w/S/P
Homemade or commercial Pesto Sauce
Parmesan Cheese, grated

As above start with a hot pan that is ok for oven use. Olive oil works best for this one. Brown one side of the fish then turn it over, top it with a layer of pesto and place in 400 oven for about 7-10 minutes. Top with parmesan cheese and return to melt (ok to use broiler).

I imagine that i may try some octopus while I am in Italy but I don't think it would end up on my plate much, we'll just have to see......

Passive Aggressive

As a nurse with a long history in the field of mental illness I still cannot come to a full understanding of why people develope certain behaviors.
My mother is the queen of passive aggressive (pa) behavior. I haven't eaten, so even though I have told her that I will do the dishes in an attempt to get her out of our very small kitchen, she diddles around, rinsing the dishes like there is no tomorrow. Yet when I am not in a hurry to get into the kitchen she leaves her dishes unrinsed in the sink.
So when we go somewhere, I like the radio on pretty loud, I know she hates it. It's not like we are going to have any earth shattering conversation so why shouldn't one of us be more comfortable. So I have learned (pa) from my mother and use it on her despite the fact that I know it will not change how she approaches things.
I am hopeful that this is not some sort of genetic thing and that I can avoid making my daughter's life the hell my mother has made mine. Seeing my mother's life is painful at times. The best thing she ever did was to have kids. I consider myself and my sister to be her best projects, both of my brothers suffered mental illness (I think I mentioned in an earlier post that my parents were 1st cousins). Otherwise her days were filled with Bingo, game shows and soap operas. I wonder at times if she was really satisified with her life.
I wish I was in better shape but overall I am happy with my life. I have a great career, friends who truly love me, a daughter who is talented and loved in her own strong persona. I am proud of the effect that I have had on those I have dealt with in life. I feel like I have made a contribution to the world around me. I hope I have.

Brown Eyes

Brown eyes are very important to me. Mine are not brown.

My daughter (of course) is the most important set of brown eyes in my life. They were never baby blue, just dark and deep brown. They have always been warm, intelligent and open. When she looks at my son-in-law with those eyes, I know that everything is OK.

My "other" daughter, the one that leaves tons of hair all over my floors on a daily basis is the other set of brown eyes in my life. Hers are forgiving, adoring and childlike. She is my best friend and I often don't feel like I deserve her. Right now she is chewing on one of those petrified bull penis things.......

Sunshine

Living in California you tend to forget that the rest of the planet does not have weather like this. We are insulated here. There are regulations about smoking in bars. Some cities like Del Mar are banning smoking on the beaches as well. Drinking has come under control at most beaches as well.
As a non-smoker I love going into a restaurant or a bar and enjoying myself and my food without smoke clogging my tastebuds.
A few places east are starting to get into it. I know when I go to Italy I will have to put up with more smoke, I am hoping for a lack of cigars though as those are really nasty. Something in the process makes me violently ill.
Take a deep breath, even my car contributes to that clean air. The sun, I cannot take credit for.

Where are we?

Some of the things that people will say on the internet surprise me. If I were standing in front of someone with whom I have debated an issue online with, would the debate be the same??

Some guy was blaming WW2 on the Jews sucking up all the money. Like some Jewish folks went out and said, "Hey let's really drive this Hitler guy crazy and make some money". Is Hitler's jealousy and hatred of Jews justified in light of their financial supremacy?? Did they deserve the atrocities that were enacted during the war. maybe this guy is one of those that thinks it was all made up. I don't think photoshop was around then......

Will there ever be a time when everyone could put away their insecurities and hatred and actually think first of another rather than themselves........

Late Nights....

We haven't had a party last past 10p for a while but the last couple went home at 1am Saturday morning. I believe that a party is a success if you have friends, food and a comfortable atmosphere. Notice booze and music are not listed.

We do like booze but these days it is more the enjoyment of this vinter or that. Was that a syrah or sangiovese? A chianti! Cool! My friends circulate. There will be some in the kitchen , some on the patio, some in the living room. People who don't know each other will talk and learn new things. People who know each other very well may learn something they didn't know about each other. We rarely have music on, people love to eat and drink and talk!

Food is big for our parties. Beside my regular "Creamy Gorganzola and Mushroom Wedges", I also topped some with a mixture of these incredible Rosemary Almonds that I got from Trader Joe's ground up with a chipolte pepper. The big hit was the Roasted Onion and Chipolte Spread topped with Pine Nuts. I like to mix low fat soft cream cheese with goat cheese. Makes a great base spread, the flavors and textures really compliment each other. I added about a half of a perfectly carmelized onion, 1 pepper and 1-1 1/2 teaspoon of the sauce to 4oz each cream/goat cheese and creamed it in the food processor. It was to die for! My friend Pat is going to start being my "namer ". I cook very well but can't get names for stuff. She dubbed the cake "Cappuchino Cathedral Cake".

When people are still talking about the party on Monday morning you know you've done a good job. It's all about making everyone comfortable.

Night

Along with crazy periods and night sweats, sometimes I just can't seem to get to sleep. When I hit a certain point I just figure that it is best to stay awake and call my kid. It is perfect, I am laying in my bed waiting to sleep and she is just starting her day. I call at other times to let her wonderful husband, Greg, know that I love him too. Sometimes I wonder if it isn't my subconscious mind just setting me up for the phone call as opposed to my hormones running amok!

Friday night is my first party in a while. It is the "older" crowd, no nurses and no Q's. My friend Pat is even staying over so she can really enjoy some of the wines. I will plan my menu while I am walking through Trader Joe's in the morning. That is why I would never make a good caterer...it's that last minute creativity. Good for my parties but a customer probably doesn't want many surprises!! I hope they have some nice bouquets.

New Challenges

This whole change of life thing presents new challenges. I am not big on creams and remedies and cosmetics but I had been using this "Yam Cream". It is supposed to help out your hormones by providing natural Progesterone. Progesterone is a highly regulatory hormone in itself. It helps us girls to know when to stop bleeding. I had run out and been with out for 3 weeks. I got hit so hard that I was taking 600mg Ibuprofen with a Vicodin. Now I have broken limbs and had numerous root canals done and never required that level of medication. I think I'll get some more Yam Cream.

What is it all about?

Why are we here? What is the ultimate goal?? Should one live ones life with gusto, not caring what we do might hurt someone else, the next generation, ourselves. The S&M folks go to the limits for pain/pleasure. Daredevils risk it all and sometimes lose. Others live to be 100 or better but live a sedate life.

Not everyone can be in the "Limelight", and some may not want to be. I am pretty happy knowing that my friends can't wait to come to my house for a party. I am pretty happy knowing that my daughter (and her darling husband) love me. I wish I could lose weight but that becomes harder with age.

And speaking of age, I have definitely gotten to that stage in my life where I must realistically prepare for "departure". I am not ready to go, don't want to go. But I am on blood pressure pills and cholesterol medication. My dad and my brother both died of heart conditions. My sister and other brother died of cancer. Neither are wonderful choices. I have a horrible suspicion that my mother could easily out live me. Somedays I think going might be better than staying with her. But I have more than her in my life so I really want to stay as long as possible.

So as to "what's it all about?" I think it is about today and tomorrow, yesterday is done with. It is about my daughter, my nephews, my neighbors, my friends. Until we die it is about what is around us and what we do each day, but we should try to be good to each other and the earth so that just in case there is something going on after we die...............

Best

The best thing I ever did in my life was to get pregnant. Then the next best was to move to California.

My daughter just had her 29th birthday. It was the first birthday where we were seperated since she was 5. I was a single parent all the way through. There were days when I wished that I could lean on someone else but in the long run I would not have wanted it any different.

When Jess was little I would buy her books. Mom would say "why buy her all those books, she can't read". This year she graduated from UCSD, English major, won a very prestigious award for writing and can get a job just about anywhere doing anything she wants. The little girl that I would read to for hours is all grown up and doing her own reading and writing.

Remember that the best things in life are not always the easiest. They are worth every tear and every smile. That is what makes them the best.

Lunch

I have been better lately about bringing my lunch to work. It is very entertaining for my friends. They look, "what's in there", "how'd you make that", "can I have a bite".......
Sometimes it is just those return glances and "that looks fabulous" comments that prompt the offer of a taste. I always bring generous portions because I know there is a good chance that it will be feeding more than me.

Smoked Salmon Spread

One 6 oz package of smoked salmon (like lox)
2 tblsp fine chopped onion
4 oz Goat Cheese
5 oz Low Fat Cream Cheese
Pepper to taste, careful and wait on the salt
1 Tblsp (+/-) Sriracha Hot Chili Sauce
Toss it in the Food Processor and blend till smooth and creamy, I add about 1-2 tblsp non-fat evaporated milk to make it as creamy as I want it. You don't need to be exact in anything. Increasing the salmon will give you more intense salmon flavor, more goat cheese than cream cheese will add a bit more sharpness and the chili sauce...well, it is up to your tolerance!!