Speeding by..

Life is speeding by these days. My friend, Pat, has her last day at Arc today. People that you just did not expect to be so emotionally impacted are and others are only concerned with how her leaving affects them personally.
My brain was on overdrive last night so getting to sleep was difficult and staying asleep was too! Even this morning I woke with ideas running through my head about my weak nurse and how am I going to achieve this or that, things that need to be shifted to others in my absence. The people in the ivory tower (main administration) only care about the Medi-Cal part of my job. They don't care that one nurse just doesn't understand how to update her orders. She just follows whatever the physician writes, it's a Philapino thing. She can't teach either and she never listens.
Whenever I get sentimental about leaving Arc I just look at the fact that the administration there is a bunch or idiots and that Pat and I deserve a life that goes beyond putting our fingers in the holes. Regional Center will protect the guys in our absence, so will licensing. I have to say that this last hiring of the boy toy in accounting was probably the last straw. He is getting $50k/annual, has no degree and is just starting accounting classes. My REGISTERED NURSES with degrees and licenses (who care for peoples health and welfare) are paid $56k, I get $60k with 16 years experience in the field. Screw Arc, I deserve better. I can't wait to sleep with a clear mind.

Up in the air...

Even though a lot of things are falling into place there is still that sense of waiting. I have completed my PPD, physical, etc. and am waiting for a start date for my new job. I see the next 2 months as being very hectic and crazy. Working 2 jobs for a while, weening the Arc people off of their heavy dependence on my brain, learning new things at my new job.
As I stand for most of the weekend day in my kitchen so that I can get some food ahead for Mom I wonder where my life will be in 6 months. I wonder what I would do with my time if I did not need to take care of her, I wonder.......
What I hope for is that I can just cook daily or every other day and put up left overs for her. I hope that I can walk to dog, do breakfast and go to the gym for a while in the mornings. I hope that having my mornings free will allow me more freedom to do other things like browse the mall, read a book, enjoy my patio. I do hope for a future where I can put myself first once in a while.

2am

At 2am you can really let your mind wander. What else is there for it to do at this hour? The neighbors and mom would question my cooking or cleaning so the computer is probably the most effective tool for funneling my racing thoughts into the proper direction.

My friend (fired for a personal time DUI) came to the office late Friday night to clean out her space. Her job is already being posted and not by our department. Pat told her (seeing as she no longer works with us) about her own pending resignation. She had shown me a very nicely written letter of resignation. I think my interview went well but you never know, I am sure there are more diversified nurses out there. Most people I know think I am pretty smart but job hunting is difficult as you get older.

Pat is hoping that if I do get a job soon that I don't leave before her but understands that I need to go. I do foresee a domino effect though. I am sure Karen will aggressively look for other employment. Sue thinks that with both her and I gone that Brad (our psych) will drop Arc consumers. One of my newer nurses "can't" take on call but is great with the daily stuff, the other is not so great with most of the job. Karen is the strongest one but she is bitter at the "unfairness" of Adunni not taking call, something that carries an extra stipend. There is even a chance that a woman who has been with a certain group of consumers for 20 years will be leaving for retirement as her husband gets a significant payout from a lawsuit. There is already rumors that one of the consumer's is being placed elsewhere because the parent is angry over the person being fired for DUI.

To further explain the DUI thing you have to see our policy (through the mud). You must have a valid California license period for most positions. In order to be a driver (drive an Arc van) you must have a clean record. But we in administration do not drive Arc vehicles and rarely take consumers in our vehicles and our need for a clean record is not detailed. I wonder if I had had one of my speeding tickets rolled into "reckless driving" (which is done when you are over 80 or 90mph) would I be fired? Through the court process that is what eventually happens, the first DUI can be pleaded down to "Reckless" (which is on a list on no-nos for an Arc "driver").

The thing is the Arc has an HR director who does not attend 90% of the meetings she is supposed to attend. They have a director of accounting who still does not understand the process for TAR application even though I have sent her details at least 20 times. The "legal counsel" is more volatile than a tube of old nitro, one day a teddy bear and your best friend, the next day he is screaming at you in front of people for something that is insignificant. Accounting can leave early on payday but two upper management folks in our department cannot be gone on one day together.

And so I hope for a state position but I am hoping for API PM shift in the meantime. I should go get some water so that I can get up to pee 30 minutes after I fall to sleep (I hope!)

Fizzle and Burst

So a few more individuals know about Pat's departure from Arc. Susan Rehm is begging me to not depart but is aware that I have some stuff "in the works". The worst was that my DUI friend is being fired. It totally sucks as she does not need to drive consumers in her job. The P&P on the need for the license is vague. Yet 2 individuals who do not work with her, who have been out for way more leave than anyone else in the company would be allowed, who random answer your important questions and who may have some substance abuse or psychiatric problems of their own made the decision to fire her despite input from families and co-workers that losing her would be detrimental to the consumers.

I wonder if I could get a FT position at API? I had best discuss options with mom today so that I can approach tomorrow's interview with less ambivalence.

Bursting Bubble or........

Right now everything is truly a waiting game. One friend has a chance at a new job but it is a slow process. I can't wait till she is able to put in her notice! Another friend is having a meeting today to see what the chances of keeping her job are after a DUI and the vagueness of Arc policy on the driver license for simple employment (vs as a driver for Arc itself). Mom is waiting with her last rites and her paid funeral plan. I am waiting for the state but have been contacted by another employer for a possible interview.....

It is like sitting on a bubble waiting for it to pop! Or maybe it will simply fizzle down like a big red balloon left out in the sun too long. Either way I am sure it is affecting my sleep and my ability to concentrate on the tasks at hand. Yesterday I just up and left the office to go circulate in the group homes, it was a good break but everything is still up in the air this morning. Resolution for a few things would be great........